"Faking It Till You Make It" Isn't sustainable...

In the world of personal development and public speaking, the phrase "fake it till you make it" has become something of a mantra. It's often touted as a strategy to overcome self-doubt, project confidence, and navigate new challenges. But while this approach might offer a temporary boost, it ultimately falls short when it comes to building authentic, lasting confidence—especially in the context of public speaking and delivering compelling talks.

The Illusion of Confidence

At its core, "faking it" is about putting on a facade. It's an attempt to project an image that doesn't yet align with your internal state. While this might work in the short term—helping you to get through a presentation or a social event—the cracks in this illusion can quickly start to show.

Audiences are perceptive, and they can often sense when a speaker's confidence isn't genuine. This can lead to a disconnect, where your message fails to resonate because it lacks authenticity.

Moreover, relying on this tactic can actually reinforce feelings of inadequacy.

When you're constantly pretending to be something you're not, it can create a cycle of self-doubt. Each time you "fake it," you're subconsciously telling yourself that the real you isn't enough. Over time, this can erode your self-esteem and make it even harder to cultivate true confidence.

The Power of Authentic Confidence

Authentic confidence, on the other hand, is built on a foundation of self-awareness, self-acceptance, and genuine growth. It doesn't rely on pretence or acting.

Instead, it comes from a deep understanding of your strengths, weaknesses, and the unique value you bring to the table. This type of confidence is resilient; it's not easily shaken by external factors because it's rooted in a true belief in yourself.

When you approach public speaking with authentic confidence, you bring a different energy to the stage.

You're not just reciting words or playing a role—you’re sharing a part of yourself with your audience. This connection is what makes your message compelling and memorable. People are drawn to authenticity because it's rare and refreshing in a world where so many are trying to fit into moulds that don't suit them.

Building Authentic Confidence

So, how do you build this kind of confidence?

It starts with self-reflection. Take the time to understand who you are, what you believe in, and what drives you. Acknowledge your fears and insecurities, but don't let them define you. Instead, use them as a guide to areas where you can grow and improve.

Practise is also key. Confidence comes from experience, so the more you speak, the more comfortable you'll become. Start small—perhaps with a supportive group or a less intimidating setting—and gradually work your way up to larger audiences. Each successful experience will reinforce your belief in your abilities, helping you build genuine confidence over time.

Another important aspect is preparation. When you're well-prepared, you naturally feel more confident because you know your material inside and out. This preparation goes beyond just memorising a script; it involves understanding your topic deeply, anticipating potential questions, and being ready to engage with your audience in a meaningful way.

It’s vital to create a proper structure and flow for your talk. Weave in storytelling and start with something impactful, a question, an interesting fact or humour. Avoid telling them who you are as an introduction, you can weave that in during the talk once you grab their attention. 

Embracing Vulnerability

One of the most powerful aspects of authentic confidence is the ability to embrace vulnerability. When you're authentically confident, you're not afraid to show your true self, and imperfections. This vulnerability can be incredibly disarming and relatable, making it easier for your audience to connect with you on a deeper level.

By being open about your journey, the challenges you overcame and your growth, you create the space for others to do the same. This authenticity fosters trust, and when your audience trusts you, they are more likely to be influenced by your message. 

If you find yourself stuck on whether what you're sharing is demonstrating vulnerability or oversharing, then read this article on Vulnerability vs Oversharing  where I give some guidelines to help you understand the difference.  

The Long-Term Benefits

While "faking it" might offer a quick fix, authentic confidence provides lasting benefits. It allows you to build meaningful connections, deliver impactful messages, and grow as a speaker, a leader and a human.

Over time, this genuine confidence becomes self-sustaining; the more you embrace your authentic self, the more confident you become, creating a positive feedback loop that propels you forward.

In conclusion, "faking it till you make it" may seem like an appealing shortcut, but it's not a sustainable strategy for building real confidence.

Instead, focus on developing authentic confidence through self-awareness, preparation, mindset practices and seeking out more experiences that allow you to be yourself. By doing so, you'll not only become a more empathic communicator but also a more confident and fulfilled individual, both on and off the stage.

Here's how you can get started...

If you're tired of faking it and ready to step into your true potential, I've got just the resource to help you. If you want to access resources to help you on your speaking journey which you can access at Minnie's Resources

I have a range of free and paid resources;

• A FREE masterclass in how to leverage speaking for more clients and authority
• A FREE visibility roadmap with 7 proven strategies to be seen and heard
• A Unlock Your Speaking Potential mini-course and Confident, Visible, Known Self-paced program with community and monthly Q&A calls.

Take a look and let me know how you get along...